Guide

The 6 Fs of IFS

The 6 Fs are a gentle, step-by-step way to unblend from a part in Internal Family Systems — to move from being flooded by a feeling to sitting alongside the part carrying it. This guide walks through each step in beginner-friendly language, with example prompts you can borrow.

Before you begin

Give yourself 10–15 quiet minutes. Sit somewhere you won't be interrupted. If you notice your body is very activated — racing heart, tight throat, feeling far away — pause and do something grounding first (feet on floor, slow exhale, cool water). You can always come back to the 6 Fs another time.

  1. 1.

    FindFind the part in or around your body

    Bring your attention inward. Notice where the part shows up — a tightness in the chest, heat in the face, a heavy pull in the belly, or a thought that keeps looping. You're not trying to fix anything yet. You're just locating who's here.

    Try asking

    • Where do I sense this part in or around my body?
    • If it had a shape, size, or texture, what would it be?
  2. 2.

    FocusFocus your attention gently on it

    Turn toward the part with steady, kind attention — the way you might turn toward a child who just walked into the room. No agenda. No trying to make it change. Just a quiet 'I see you.'

    Try asking

    • Can I stay with this sensation for a few breaths?
    • What happens when I simply keep it company?
  3. 3.

    Flesh outFlesh out what the part looks and feels like

    Get curious about the details. How old does the part feel? What is it wearing, holding, or doing? What's its posture, its expression, its energy? The more clearly you see it, the more it can feel seen.

    Try asking

    • How old does this part seem?
    • What is it doing right now — bracing, hiding, watching, working?
  4. 4.

    Feel towardFeel toward the part — this is the checkpoint

    Notice what you feel toward the part. Curiosity, compassion, warmth, calm — those are signs Self is present, and the work can go deeper. Frustration, judgment, fear, or wanting it gone — those are other parts blended in with you. That's not a failure; it just means another part needs your attention first. Ask that reactive part to soften back a little so you can meet the original part from Self.

    Try asking

    • What am I feeling toward this part right now?
    • If it's judgment or fear, who is that? Can that part give me a little space?
  5. 5.

    beFriendbeFriend the part by learning its story

    From that calmer place, get to know the part. What does it want you to understand? When did it first show up? What has it been carrying? Every part — even the loudest, harshest, most exhausted one — has a good reason for what it does. Your job is to listen, not to argue.

    Try asking

    • How long have you been doing this job for me?
    • What do you want me to know that I've never really heard?
  6. 6.

    FearsAsk about its Fears — what it's protecting against

    Ask the part what it's afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job. This is where protectors reveal what they've been shielding — often a younger, more vulnerable part underneath. You don't have to go to that younger part today. Just thank the protector for telling you, and let it know you heard it.

    Try asking

    • What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do this anymore?
    • What do you need from me so you don't have to work this hard?

Closing the session

Before you get up, thank the part for letting you get to know it — even a little. Take a breath, feel your feet, and notice one thing in the room around you. Parts work is cumulative: a small, kind visit today matters more than a long, forced one.

This app supports your work with a licensed therapist. It is not therapy, medical care, or crisis support. MyPartsWork is intended for adults 18 and older. If you feel unsafe, please reach out to your local crisis line.